HUMAN HOMELESSNESS IS AN AVOIDABLE TRAGEDY. LET’S SOLVE IT. NOW.
As part of my activities on Earth, I campaign to raise awareness of homelessness and to help combat it in the 21st century. I gave all extra donations to my London Mayor campaign beyond the £10,000 deposit to Shelter, to help support their cause.
I have also given an interview to The Big Issue, which you can read a potted version of here on their website. I also include the full transcript below.
COUNT BINFACE SPEAKS TO THE BIG ISSUE
What inspired the policy to ask the royals to give up palaces for homeless people?
Boris Johnson, the blond bumshell, talks a lot about wanting to ‘level up’ Britain. I doubt if he could ‘level up’ on Super Mario Bros. But I say it’s time to level up the housing supply for homeless people in London. And if that means levelling down the Royal Family, so be it. Quite frankly I’d like to see the Royals try to defend the idea that they need more than one palace to survive. If they did that, I have a funny feeling Prince Charles’ reign might end as auspiciously as his namesake in 1649. I’ve heard on the grapevine that none of the Royals particularly like Buckingham Palace anyway, so I say that’s the one they should get to keep. I should add that I’m only interested in reducing their quantity of gigantic homes in London. I’m not interested in requisitioning Sandringham or Balmoral. Yet.
The campaign is to raise awareness of homelessness and raise money for Shelter - why this cause?
Homelessness is an issue that’s close to my internal fluid pumping organ. In the 21st century it is indefensible that a wealthy nation like the UK should allow people to sleep rough on the streets. It’s just not good enough. Finland has worked hard to eradicate homelessness and London should do the same. There is a ludicrous number of properties owned by the rich minority and which are left empty for lots of the time, while other people have nothing. If an alien came down to Earth and saw this they’d say it’s a disgrace. Well I am that alien. It’s a disgrace. If it takes a space warrior with a bin for a head to make this point, it just goes to show that this issue - which is a Big Issue, to coin a phrase - needs to move up the political agenda. Let's make homelessness history. And if that means a few Russian oligarchs losing their juicy London property portfolios, so much the better. Simples.
Laurence Fox has tweeted that he will vote for you. How do you think you’ll do against him?
Laurence has indeed tweeted support for me. I am immensely grateful for his vote of confidence and I wish him well in his campaign. However, I have a sense that he might be joking. In fact, I have a sneaky feeling that his whole 'gammon' thing, where he says silly things on Question Time and stuff like that, might just be an elaborate act. Perhaps it's a bravura post-modern performance for our times, like Joaquin Phoenix doing Alan Partridge. If so it is nothing short of a triumph, even greater than the fictional Oxford-based murders he solved with Kevin Whately. It's that good. Nevertheless, if I successfully raise the £10k deposit to stand in the election I fancy my chances of beating Lozza. My manifesto is far superior to everyone else's. If Mr Fox is equally confident, maybe he can bung me a few quid. Then we shall see!
